OhMahGah, Omaha!

Cross Country - New Jersey to Denver

Hundreds of corpses – limbs, eyeballs, guts – dot my bumper and windshield. I step out of my car to pump gas at the “World’s Largest Truck Stop”. I’m definitely in Iowa. As I squeegee away the residue of Massacre from my windshield, something smells like fried shrimp. It’s the bug guts roasting on my warm engine. I’m glad I’m in Iowa. I won’t be eating seafood for a while.

Just moments ago, I torpedoed down I-88 at mach 5 when a couple of crows dangerously glided across the highway just 2 feet off the ground. I hit the brakes gently with a sense of mercy. The first crow made it across without losing any feathers. The second, however, met my right passenger-side door with a thud. I looked in my rearview mirrors only to see his crow friend land at his unconscious side. As my friend Ryan said: “survival of the fittest”… or in this case, smartest. If you’re a bird and have the power of flight, don’t fly 3 feet above a highway.